I love the Māori ways of describing ADHD and autism.

I’ve come across the description of autism before - “living in their own space and time” - and I’ve always found this to be a beautiful way of looking at the autistic experience and way of being.

The ADHD description is new to me: “attention goes to many things” - and this feels so much more appropriate to me than the idea of an attention deficit.

A deficit suggests that something is missing, and this doesn`t sit true for my own lived experience or how I`ve observed others. Our attention just moves and lands differently, my own, perhaps akin to a butterfly: it flits from one thing to another, curious about everything… and then, when it finally lands somewhere with enough nectar, it stays as long as there is nectar.

I value how these Māori concepts invite us to look beyond labels and deficits, and instead consider different ways of experiencing and relating to the world.

🦋 What do you think?

[Photo of a butterfly that landed on my hand in Veli Lošinj, Croatia, early 2000s]

#ADHD #Autism #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergence #MāoriPerspectives #DifferentNotLess #ADHDStrengths #AutisticStrengths #ReframingNeurodiversity #Attention #NeurodivergentVoices ...

I’m very open about my ADHD, being of mixed culture, and my work as an LGBTQ+ affirming counsellor.

As to the latter, I`ve been thinking about what that means for me personally.

From the outside, my life looks fairly conventional. But the outside doesn’t tell us the whole story.

Someone can look neurotypical and be neurodivergent. Someone can appear culturally straightforward while carrying several cultural worlds within them. Someone can be in a conventional-looking relationship while having a much more expansive understanding of love and connection.

For some people, labels such as queer, pansexual or polyamorous feel deeply meaningful. For others, they don’t quite capture the whole experience.

For me, I keep coming back to something more like:

🌿 the freedom to love, connect, be curious about another person, and allow relationships to unfold without having to follow a predetermined template.

I’m not against labels at all. They can offer language, recognition, community and belonging.

But I also think it’s okay if the available labels don’t quite fit.

As a counsellor, I don’t think the goal of exploring identity is necessarily to find the `right` label. It`s to create enough safety and curiosity to discover what love, identity, relationships and connection mean to you.

So I`m curious:

Do labels help you, limit you, or a bit of both?

🌿 And if you’d like some space to explore these questions, counselling can be a place to do that.

#BeyondLabels #Identity #Neurodiversity #LGBTQAffirming #Relationships #SelfKnowledge #Counselling ...

I compare myself with the other people sitting in the dentist’s waiting room.

No-one else is jiggling their legs, stretching, shifting around, or constantly chatting and interrupting the person they’re with. No-one else is showing signs of restlessness.

I wonder how different life would feel if I didn`t always feel restless. I wonder how calm I`d be, and how much more capacity I`d have.

I also wonder if I`d have achieved all the things I did, all the travels I`ve had, all the courses I`ve taken, all the people I`ve met, said yes to all the adventures.

I know that while this restlessness can be exhausting, it is also what has gifted me deep joy in being alive, and to truly live my life with every part of my being.

The flip sides of ADHD. 💛

[Image of cloud art in the ceiling of the dentist waiting room]
#ADHD #ADHDWomen #ADHDAwareness #LifeWithADHD #ADHDLife #Neurodivergent #Neurodiversity #ADHDJourney #ADHDReflections #TheFlipSideOfADHD ...

One of the things I`ve become increasingly aware of over the past year is how people`s preferences for communication platforms are changing.

For many years, I connected with clients via WhatsApp, my custom domain email and ProtonMail, and also offered Google Meet and VSee for online sessions. While those options remain available, I`ve noticed that a growing number of people are choosing to move away from WhatsApp for reasons ranging from privacy concerns to simply preferring other platforms.

As someone who works almost entirely online, I think it`s important to adapt to those changes rather than expect clients to adapt to me.

🌿 Offering meaningful choices and making adaptations wherever possible is a key part of how I work, particularly with neurodivergent clients. My practice is grounded in a neuroaffirming approach, which means recognising that there is no one-size-fits-all way of communicating or engaging. If changing the platform helps someone feel more comfortable, more secure or simply better able to engage, that`s an adaptation worth making.

With that in mind, I`m pleased to now offer Signal, Telegram and Wire for both communication and online sessions, and Proton Meet for video calls, alongside my existing options.

Everyone has different priorities when it comes to convenience, security and privacy. My aim is to make it as easy as possible for people to work with me using a platform they already know and feel comfortable with.

✨ I`m also curious to hear what others are using these days. Have your preferences changed over the past few years? If so, what has influenced your choice of platform - privacy, security, ease of use, features or something else? Are there any platforms you think deserve more attention, or even, that I should consider using also?

#Neuroaffirming #Neurodiversity #DigitalCommunication #Privacy #OnlineTherapy #Telehealth #Accessibility ...

This weekend, we had planned to go to Stockholm Pride. Instead, we chose something quieter because sensory needs came first for our family. Even so, Pride still matters to me.

I grew up in a family where traditional views on sexuality and gender were the norm. Even as a child, I found myself questioning the certainty with which people judged others, and wondering whether there might be different ways of seeing the world. That curiosity has stayed with me.

Over the past year, conversations with transgender people, parents, and young people figuring out who they are haven`t changed my values - they`ve deepened my understanding.

Two conversations have stayed with me.

🌿 A pre-teen told me that gender isn`t the thing that matters most to him. He sees people for who they are - their personality, their kindness, their character - rather than feeling constrained by labels. This wasn`t a view he`d adopted to fit in; it was one he`d arrived at over a long period of time, in his own way.

🌿 A parent spoke honestly about grieving the future they had imagined for their child. In this case, their child is transgender, but I think the feeling is broader than that. Parents often carry hopes and expectations for their children`s future. Letting go of those expectations can be painful, but grieving the future you imagined isn`t the same as losing your child. They`re still there - the same person, with the same history, and the same capacity to love and be loved.

It`s left me thinking that we are who we are, regardless of the stories or expectations around us. Those stories don`t create our identity. Sometimes they simply give us permission to live more openly as the person we`ve always been.

Happy Pride. 🏳️‍🌈

#Pride #StockholmPride #LGBTQIA #Inclusion #Belonging #Compassion #Faith #Humanity #Empathy ...