Vulnerability and shame

Monday, 13 February 2012 – vulnerability and shame

I just watched a video about one of the most wonderful things we have: connection with others. The speaker, Brene Brown, spoke about the main things that unravel connection, and the words she used were ‘shame and fear’.

To my surprise, out of nowhere it seemed, on hearing the word ‘shame’ I burst into tears. Ms Brown was talking about the shame of not being good enough. I guess perhaps my response came from a place of understanding what shame is and how deep it can go in each one of us. It can be hard for anyone to speak of and acknowledge shame, but most of us have felt it at some point.

Ms Brown speaks about those that can connect easily, that they have a deep sense of belonging and of being lovable. Belonging is something that has come upon me in recent years, through personal experiences that have led me to understanding more about where I come from. It has also been facilitated by learning to love and be loved by someone that I respect and value highly. I am one of the lucky ones – not to have been given those chances, but to have been able to take those chances. Not everyone is so lucky.

My wish is for a world in which people have the courage to be imperfect, the compassion to be kind to themselves and then to others, and the desire for authenticity – to let go of who they thought they should be and to allow themselves to be who they are. It is also a wish for a world in which people see vulnerability as beautiful, as well as understanding that it is not a comfortable place to be, but that it is necessary to reach a point of connection and to find long-lasting contentment and happiness.

The video is here.

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